break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
