In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize