One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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