My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
