thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
