i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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