why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize