She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize