You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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