Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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