Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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