Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
