found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
