Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
