On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
