Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
