I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
