FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
