Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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