Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
