Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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