There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
