Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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