Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
