I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
