I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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