We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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