The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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