i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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