I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
