The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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