i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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