she was so not down for the gang bang
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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