I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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