I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize