I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
