So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
