Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
