fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
