No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
