I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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