Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
this is an emotional support booty call
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize