I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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