i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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