Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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