i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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