my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your penis caused this!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
