Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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