All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
