pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
