i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
