That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
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