I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
