Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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