Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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