She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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