spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
