does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
